Reframing Foibles

Lately I've been battling with some of my foibles, or what I believe to be foibles.  I've been thinking about the purpose of having such foibles, or the benefits.

I used to be a far more disciplined person than I am now.  I used to have more fire to drive me through what I was trying to do.  Now I find it very difficult to maintain a healthy diet and exercise routine.  The only benefit I can see with being undisciplined is the ability to understand how difficult it is for people to create and sustain desired changes in their lives.  Often times impulse wins out.  I recall being so judgmental of impulsive people when I was in my undergraduate studies.  I viewed impulsive people, or people addicted to substances like smoking as weak.  Ironically, now I'm the person I viewed as weak.  I easily give into impulse, and the desire to relieve discomfort, or the desire for pleasure in the form of being lazy or eating that delicious but not nutritious dessert.

I have a feeling that person that I was still exists within me, and my judgment is being shifted onto myself.  In yin and yang-like fashion, I now know what it feels like to be on both sides.

Another so called foible is that I've become very prone to bouts of sadness.  So many things can easily made me sad.  Thinking too much about my life, or lack of life (mmm, self judgment), can cause me to spiral down easily.  Also thinking about people's treatment of other sentient beings can send me into sadness.  I know if I drown into too much sadness I can't think as well, and overall I can't function as well.  Though the right amount of sadness drives me into action, attempting to do my part in the world. So there is a benefit to sadness, so long as it's not overly indulged in, or it's not too deep it seems.  A deep knowing of emotions firsthand also lends to a deeper understanding of what it's like for others who also suffer.  A willing raw heart is an open heart that can offer understanding.  A willing raw heart is also a courageous heart, one willing to go through the storms.

So I guess overall, foibles can be viewed as tools of empathy, since all of us are all-too-human.  Though somehow we have to makes friends with our foibles without indulging in our foibles too much when possible.