Tonglen Practice...

Lately I've been too wimpy to practice Tonglen...
Afraid to feel hurt...
Not open to it...
I avoid doing the practice even when I know the benefit and how I feel afterwards...

I procrastinate, I put it off for other things...
To better myself I must continue working on my courage and strength...
Do these things so I can better love myself by doing things I need to do...
So that I can better love others, being kind and loving...
Especially when I don't want to, or Perhaps it's not so convenient...

Vegetarianism is a symbol of my ideal...
To want to be beyond myself...
Beyond my own corporeal selfish wants and desires...
To be more spiritual and loving of others...

Lately I want to be selfish...  I want to wallow in my self-pity... my self guilt of how good I have it...
Yet so often I'm unable to act...
I have to face myself... The self I don't care for too much...
Accept all parts of myself...

Then proceed...  Act...  Become Better....
And finally trust in myself, trust in life, and trust in people...
Faith that when I put in the effort to create positive things...
Everything will somehow work out...  (Somehow in the end, it always does... I truly believe this...  It's the small victories that count....)