The Vicious Cycle of Unmet Needs

There seems to exist a kind of vicious cycle related to unmet needs. When the needs we consistently prioritize keep going unmet, we develop feelings of frustration and desperation. We fall into a kind of Fight of Flight mode since we feel we are in danger.

If we start to use an aggressive Fight strategy to get our needs met, trying to demand more of others, we potentially start to drive people away, creating another Unmet Need, one that is very core to our psychology as social beings: Our need for connection and support from others. This potentially Further Increases feelings of frustration, desperation, and fear.

If we use a flight mode, trying to passively demand more of others, or to try to preemptively protect ourselves through avoidance, we directly lose our connection with others through our act of separation. Increased fear, loneliness, and anxiety potentially creep in as we try to preserve the remaining connections we still have, fearing a loss of those connections and sources of support. But the very guarded nature of trying to protect oneself, often creates a barrier that pushes people away, leading to the very thing that is feared: loss of connection and support.