There are things I have felt the need or desire to do, then I do them without much fuss or questioning. An example is my desire to write down my thoughts in a journal, which started in college. It is something I just wound up doing without questioning. It is something I Just Did, and I feel it has helped to enrich my own life.
But then there are other things where a strong desire sprung up, and yet I have found myself questioning: "Why Am I Doing This?", "Is this something I can commit to?", "Is it worth my efforts?", etc. With a plant-based diet, it was something I vacillated over a period of months, experiencing a lot of inner dissonance and instability. When I finally settled in and decided, although difficult, it was something that brought me personal fulfillment and a sense of groundedness, and that was enough.
With my random desires to do things that in my mind are potentially frivolous, I have trouble Just Doing It. Things like music and photography, which I find myself wanting to do, I keep questioning why I do it, or what the point is, etc. The act of constantly questioning and Just NOT Doing it has been a constant source of mental and emotional instability. And yet I find myself coming back over and over again to this flame which stirs up all of my inner-crazy...
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