Passing by the backyard pond, when I can, I save bees that have fallen into the water, struggling to swim ashore, trying to avoid drowning in the very thing that offered them nourishment. When I spot them, I scoop them up with the pond skimmer, allowing them to hopefully continue with their contribution that helps to support the life of all of those that rely on flowers, fruits, plants, and the like.
There are times I do kill bugs though... when I feel threatened, I don't hesitate to kill. If an ant bites me, if in a moment of anger, I will kill out of my strong desire for comfort and protection. I've killed ants trying to get into food sources... I will often place my own survival needs before those of ants. And part of me feels sorrowful, knowing that ants, like all living beings, are doing their best to keep living and surviving the best way they know how...
I want to protect life... but I also want to protect my own life... And sometimes it seems those two things come into conflict... All I can do to offer myself some solace when distressed is to tell myself I'm doing the best I can for each given moment... If I were stronger, wiser, more capable... I'd make a different decision... but often I am not...
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