Friday, August 16, 2013

"Deserve"

Why does the word "deserve" offend me so much?  I find it offending when people say "Such and such person isn't deserving of my time."  Or "I deserve happiness!"

I seem to associate the word with discrimination... with blame...  with ego...  Only people who are deemed "worthy" can associate with those people who use the word "deserve" quite a bit...

Perhaps my offense stems down to my own feelings of unworthiness...  As if I'm being reminded of my own self-whipping...  The word goes straight to the quick, down to the rawness of it all...  Perhaps I hate the word because deep down, it's what I really want for myself...  I want to feel deserving...  I want to feel like something special...

Guh!  I dunno...  I can't seem to reconcile with the word...  And I'm turned off by those who imply "You don't deserve my time...  You don't deserve my attention...  You don't deserve to be a part of my life."

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