Power... What is it Good For?

As I contemplate the value of Power and what it's good for... Ultimately I believe power is good for protecting, especially protecting those who might be unable to protect themselves in some situations.

The idealist in me wants to believe in The Benevolent Leader... One who not only leads, guides, and inspires... but also protects all those under the leader's rule.

To Walk Down a Path Alone and Not Alone

Reflecting back, it seems like some of the areas I have found the most fulfillment involve me walking down a path alone... yet at the same time it wasn't alone.

The physical steps and actions were mine to take, where I had to put one foot in front of the other... but beneath those steps was what feels like an underlying force compelling me (or even at times possessing me--or what felt like possession), to traverse in one direction or another. Often someone or something or some event in my experience would uncover this strong force beneath, a force that would help to support and fuel my own physical journey.

My journey of walking down a path of consistently eating a plant-based diet is a good example of "walking alone and not alone." I was exposed to the idea from different sources. I saw the maps that others had taken, that the journey was indeed possible. And I felt strongly compelled to go and walk down that path, for better or for worse, not really knowing fully the implications of doing so, only knowing that it would have some outcomes I desired.

The process of learning to play guitar is another example. One day I randomly felt inspired by the play of others... uncovering any latent desire beneath... And then I had to go and physically undergo the actions needed to learn how to play, but with that strong support from something within driving me toward that direction.

I have often thought I have taken some paths one my own, but now reflecting upon it, it's as if the journeys were alone in taking the physical actions needed, yet not alone, because psychically there were strong forces accompanying the journey.

Afterthought: It's like I can't really take much credit for doing some of those things I feel most proud of or most fulfilled by. Perhaps I can take some credit in surrendering to the psychic forces involved, but I can't claim the action fully.

The Cloud that Hangs Over me

Safety, consideration, support, acceptance, trust, autonomy... These very human needs connected to my very strong desire to live with the most enjoyment possible... The raging storm brewing below, winds full of debris, ready to leave a wake of tattered cloth in need of constant repair.... until calmness, waiting for the next storm to arrive... wishing to exist within the eye of upcoming storms... never knowing if I can find the key to do so...

I Don't Know How to Escape My Brain

This brain that I was born with full of predisposition... This brain shaped by so many experiences over a long period of time... This brain quickly jolted and sculpted by the strongest of emotional experience... This brain that continually formulates and abides by many narratives...

So many times I want to follow a different storyline... or at least I think I want to follow a different storyline... and then I fall right back into the same grooves.... I re-live the same patterns... re-live many of the same memories, even those which feel painful to uncover beneath the dirt which I try to cover it...

I'm locked in... and I don't know how to get out...

The Soft Glowing Light in The Dark

A soft glowing radiant light in among the night sky
Ready to sing a song of renewal and sweeping change...
But not until the proper preparations have been made...
A reluctant destruction

The Raw Potential Programming within DNA

Within DNA there exists raw potential programming, allowing for a multitude of cellular expression... I wonder how all of that raw potential information and programming came to be... how all the various forms were encoded DNA, allowing interaction and change with the environment.

Living as an Act of Consumerism?

All living beings, in order to keep on living, to keep on surviving, must consume... Our basic physiology demands that we must consume the living or once-living. Something living must always die, with its organic matter being transmuted into energy  for another living thing to live.

But it seems as a human being, in order to live in a way that feels fulfilling, we must create a balance by also somehow contributing back to the life that we must take. Bearing some kind of fruit or nectar from nourishment taken in seems to be important.... to somehow add to the sweetness of living...

For Humans to Soar

For humans to soar and reach more of their potential... there's often a common story of having to rely on many people to help take care of our many needs. A lot of resources are needed to create a foundation from which to build upon, creating an opportunity to focus energy and effort on specific areas to create adaptations within the mind, body, spirit, etc. The act of everyday living can transformed into acts of creation, new learning, growth, and renewal.

Acknowledging and Becoming Aware of Our Instinctual Reactions

I wonder if part of the human journey is to acknowledge and become aware of our many instinctual reactions (perhaps our more primitive survival parts?), while not becoming completely controlled or overwhelmed by those instinctual animalistic parts... In an ever evolving environment, it seems some of our instincts meant to help us survive are actually counterproductive... sometimes for the individual, and sometimes for the human species as a whole.

Beautiful Ghosts

Beautiful ghosts, I see you but cannot touch you
Beautiful ghosts, you live in my world but I cannot live in yours...

What is My Story? What Path Leads to Personal Fulfillment?

There's a tendency for people to live by some kind of narrative... A narrative both lived by and promoted. Those who are lucky are able to find there own hero's journey, which puts them on a path of great fulfillment. Finding one's most fulfilling storyline is often difficult because of the many storylines we each live by.

When placed upon a path that resonates, there is increased opportunity to bloom, for the path itself is like sustenance for underlying forces waiting for nourishment. While traversing our own path can open up opportunity for creation, stubbornly clinging to our own path can be destructive. Trying to force feed what nourishes us to others can lead to a kind of starvation of the soul and spirit. Not allowing room for various individual paths is suffocating to all involved.

All that said, I continue to wonder what my most fulfilling storyline is... I guess seeking more fulfilling ways is a storyline itself. lol. So perhaps that's part of the core of my own storyline. I think learning to give more consideration to my own storyline, as well as the storyline of others is likely a strong part of my narrative... and learning how to balance and traverse the various storylines involved...

Sun, Shields, and Shadow

In photography we observe the effect of relationships between a light source, an object, and the resulting shadow. The more intense a light source is, the stronger the shadow cast will be. The further away the light source is from an object, the harder the edges, the more well-defined a shadow becomes. Moving the light source closer helps to soften some of the edges. Also, the more directly a light source hits an object, the stronger the shadow formed will be. Indirect light helps to soften and diffuse any shadow edges.

In nature, very intense light sources help to create energy, to help sustain life... yet at the same time, a very intense light source can burn, damage, and even destroy an object through overexposure.

It seems our psyches might work with the same principles seen in nature and photography... Our thoughts, our emotions, our bodies, our instinctual natures... We shield these in many ways resulting in different kinds of shadows. That which is hidden gains a kind of seductive strength in the dark, with the shadow always attached to the object.

Our own vantage points, where we cast our own light onto objects, also creates shadows largely hidden from our own sight. Where we focus our gaze can also affect the clarity of our vision and awareness. Staring directly into the sun can result in blindness... Yet trying to see in areas without light, we as humans cannot see at all. It's the interplay of highlights, midtones, and shadows that allows us to see shapes and forms.

Aesthetic Taste?

Today, after viewing photos I took... I think I've determined that my personal aesthetic taste tends to involve mixing reality with a kind of dream-state... Where different spaces meet?

Balance

Typically I have a strong need to balance out my seriousness with humor, and it's a need I'm typically aware of and pay attention to... But there's an area of imbalance that I'm less likely to pay attention to... It relates to communicating what's going on inside of my related to my own desires, wants, and areas of fulfillment... Along with not communicating my own needs, most of the time I also do not communicate any insights I might have related to the needs I perceive in others. It's like I'm withholding of that information. I won't verbalize what I see, even if I likely know what's going on.

Everyone has their own heroes journey, where they typically must endure some kind of discomfort in order to reach a new place... Perhaps the area of communication with others is one of my obstacles. (And yet as I type this I find myself stubbornly clinging to my typical pattern)

Soot

I sit in darkened smoke and I breath
I see across the horizon the cool clean air
I see the oceans edge along the bluffs
And yet I refuse to move...
Continually breathing in the ashen air...
As if enjoying the suffocating cocktail...
A miasma fueling embers below...
Searing embers I refuse to let go of