One aspect of my psyche (that I'm unsure is so great)... I'm constantly chasing after the feeling of engagement, of being totally immersed.... The moments of flow that are full of life. But tides change... so flitting from flower to flower becomes what is consistent: being consistently inconsistent in my efforts and energy and motivation...
I want to be possessed... obsessed. I want energy to course through my being and wash me away. I want the fires to feel stoked... because so often they feel lifeless. Perhaps I am someone who is dead, but always trying to rise...
"To bask, to revel, to live" used to be words I'd describe how I want to be... And simultaneously I feel like I forget what it's like to be that way... How can I remember that? How can I recapture that?
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