Tuesday, October 31, 2017
The Genetic Lottery
Initially we're dealt a deck of cards, along with the circumstances that go along with it... And along the way we must figure out how to play our hand as best as we can....
Saturday, October 28, 2017
The Initial Discovery of Passionate Energy
I'm sitting here streaming Sam Beam playing some music on Morning Becomes Eclectic... I'm suddenly feeling nostalgic, remembering when I first discovered a passion for music. During that time his music from Iron and Wine inspired and touched me to the point where I wanted to learn how to play/sing some of his music.
I remember feeling overtaken by the energy: obsessed... All I wanted to do was learn how to play guitar. And I remember wanting to play for another...
I remember feeling overtaken by the energy: obsessed... All I wanted to do was learn how to play guitar. And I remember wanting to play for another...
Tuesday, October 24, 2017
Torn
So often I feel like my psyche is torn and at war with itself... This happens with a lot of things... But lately what comes to mind is the act of doing things that I consider creative. Part of me thinks it's the most wonderful and fulfilling thing to engage in... Another part of me feels like it's the most useless thing... that it's a waste of time and meaningless. These are energies I'm unsure if I can ever reconcile.
Unfinished Business?
Sometimes I have morbid thoughts of... "If I die today, there are some projects I haven't finished and given to people yet." These thoughts are of little things... mainly my photographic projects not yet done. But it leads me to wonder... Do most people have some kind of unfinished business when they depart? And when we are born, is it possible that we come in with unfinished business... something that we are supposed to realize when we first come into conscious existence?
Saturday, October 21, 2017
Presence vs. Absence
To me it seems easy to get used to the presence of those we connect... But getting used to their absence seems difficult. I guess each signify the same thing: the feeling of connection as well as cherishing the connection itself.
Friday, October 20, 2017
Our Last Hen
So today I come home to find out our last hen was caught, likely by a coyote. She was the last survivor of many other attacks on the flock... living a few more years after all her family members were taken by a bobcat. I am thankful for the time shared. There's something wonderful about caring for another intelligent being... creating a connection and familiarity. I guess now she'll no longer have to be by herself, after living amongst so many as a lone survivor...
Thursday, October 19, 2017
I imagine the Lonely only get Lonlier
I imagine those who are lonely often act out in ways that only create more of what they do not want... They want to connect, but at times wind up expressing in a way that shows aggression... that shows hostility. They become labeled as "toxic people"... and are offered less and less of the medicine they need: connection. I imagine they're treated like Death itself, where each person wishes to run away.
Monday, October 16, 2017
Memories at really young ages
My mom told me of a story that I don't even remember at all. She told me when she went to pick my sister and I up at the babysitter's place, we were both in corners... My mom saw that I was in a corner all wet. She was so angry she immediately took us out of that situation.
As a memory I don't even recall, I wonder if any of the residuals remain at all? Does it remain floating someone within the conscience?
As a memory I don't even recall, I wonder if any of the residuals remain at all? Does it remain floating someone within the conscience?
All and One at the Same Time
The many facets each reflecting their own light... yet part of the same thing
Combining Both Nature and Nurture
It's thought that both nature and nurture influence what we turn out to be like. I randomly thought about biological parents... They contribute to the nature aspect via their genetic material passed down to us... They also contribute to the nurture aspect via their own psychology and how they influences their own behavior: behavior that impacts behavior of those around them.
Other random thought... I wonder if there's any kind of constant that exists somewhere between.
Other random thought... I wonder if there's any kind of constant that exists somewhere between.
Monday, October 2, 2017
The Drunkenness of Holding on to Anger and Hurt
There's a kind of drunkenness of holding on to anger and hurt... A very tempting drunkenness where one feels justified with one's views and one's actions... justified in being violent or harming others... A desire for others to hurt as well.
Anger, because it is felt so strongly and so viscerally... and it feels so real... makes us feel our "Rightness" is real: That our actions and attitudes are indeed okay.
The strange thing is I find it's so easy to fall into the drunkenness that is so destructive... and at times gets us the opposite of what he hope for or want. When I'm on the bottle, how do I get off?
Anger, because it is felt so strongly and so viscerally... and it feels so real... makes us feel our "Rightness" is real: That our actions and attitudes are indeed okay.
The strange thing is I find it's so easy to fall into the drunkenness that is so destructive... and at times gets us the opposite of what he hope for or want. When I'm on the bottle, how do I get off?
Sunday, October 1, 2017
Perception of Sameness
Because of the tendency to be egocentric in our thinking... It seems it is sometimes better to think that others are like ourselves, since there is a tendency to affirm our own way of being. Though sometimes I wonder about the genuine differences... When genuine differences are not acknowledged, Does that affect an individual's sense of identity? It seems identity works on two different levels... Who we associate with and have commonalities with... And ways in which we are different and unique from others.
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