The Standard We are Not

To hold ourselves to a standard that we are not, a standard we might never possibly attain= ultimate self-violence

I'm all for growth can working towards a more idealized vision of self... but how do we know what that vision of idealized self really is??? How can we tell what is truly attainable??? How does one know what is an authentic version of self? At what point in the path does it become more destructive than creative, when working toward an ideal or vision? I have no clue... I just know that the road of "self-improvement" can actually turn violent and aggressive toward ourselves (and toward others)... Perhaps it depends on How The Road is traveled... With what energy and intention... Perhaps there's the possibility of growth without grasping...

And how can I know when I am running away versus running toward???