When My Blinders Fall...

There are times my blinders fall... I do my best not to see, not feel, not to experience certain things in their entirety... But now I'm experiencing one of those times when I can no longer create walls shielding me from what I feel deeply, truly... I literally feel pain... a deep aching within my chest... Thinking of the pain that other beings must endure because of our actions as human beings... In a country of abundance... A country of choice... I'm deeply saddened by our food choices... I'm inundated by commercials on TV... Burgers, chicken, lobster... Imagining the pain they must experience for our sake. A pain so unnecessary... It hurts me so much to think about it... Posts on social media... People celebrating food... food I see as suffering, death... Celebrating as if it's so cool to eat certain foods... How do we as humans celebrate that which causes so much pain. People so proud to eat things like foie gras... pain of ducks and geese... People so proud to eat crabs and lobsters... a painful death of scalding hot water... Where's our humanity? Our connection to that which exists outside of ourselves? Our innate ability to empathize with other beings? Our desire to spread as much kindness as we can throughout our world? Our desire to work for the greater good? The way my heart works, I'm hurting right now... The deep ache inside... Like a place of infinite sadness I cannot mask. Maybe it's better if I couldn't feel these things... Right now I lack strength, I lack courage... I hurt and I don't like it... But at the same time I disdain the feeling of ignorance... Ignorance is bliss for whom??? In this world there's so much that's hard for me to accept... At this moment I feel so weak and powerless... I feel the dull ache around my heart... The irony of feeling connected... it also makes me feel disconnected...