RIP Pumpkin Rooster and Golden Hen

You'll be missed... I'm thankful for you time here...
The bobcat finally got to you guys, in a surprise attack...

Sunrise... Sunset...

Are these hints of what we seek?  The joining of day and night...  Of above and below...  Resulting in a union that gives birth to a new thing...  We can't help but be moved by the beauty of Sunrises and Sunsets...  The soulful union of opposites...  Deep down, perhaps this is why we are moved...

Junkie

To be moved... To be stirred...  Ultimately this is what I seek...
Whether witnessing beauty emanating from an action of another...  Or the actual beauty radiating from a person...  It could be the connection felt while engaged, while immersed in a piece of art, music, film...

That which stirs the soul...  I am a junkie of such things...  Finding those Moments that Move Me at My Core... That is what I seek...

Introverted Feeling and The Cries of the Soul

So I just watched the documentary "Bully" for the first time last night. I found myself yelling and cursing at so many people... the mean kids, some parents, the principal...  It made me think a lot of my Fi values are actually based on Hidden Rage from personal experiences while younger...  I had flashbacks of when I felt encroached upon by others (a pre-school teacher making an example out of me and all the kids laughing at me, bullied/picked on in junior high and high school, etc)...

Like the kids in the "Bully" documentary, no one stepped up to help me (not even my friends), leading to feelings of disconnect and loneliness.  I theorize Fi (at least in my case) is an attempt to be the person we wished were there, a person to help us, to rescue us from a group following the party line...  Fi is an attempt to be someone who hears the cries of the individual Soul...

Crater

I try desperately to continue filling this deep hole within me.  But the dirt and soil so easily washes away, as if nothing else were meant to grow in those deepest recesses any longer.  It's the missing that has a life of its own, creating something completely new  There's just no way to avoid something that reaches so deep.  I can only keep going, as a changed person...

Treasures Beneath the Heart

I've randomly noticed, the title of my blog relates to the exploration of the heart.  For those who believe in chakras, green is related to the heart center.  Darkness is often related to that which is beneath.  The soul is often the goal, the place we long to reach during our inner explorations.

It's the inner exploration I find some of the best parts of myself, yet at the same time the stirrings beneath are difficult to deal with at times.  Sometimes I run away, distracting myself by physical means.  While distraction can often bring a temporary sense of relief, at times I feel dull.

Sometimes it feels like there is Death in Life...  The process of the mundane, the everyday little things needed for the process of physical survival...

Sometimes it feels like there is Life in Death...  Freeing ourselves from ourselves...  Shedding old skin for what's below...  Within the dark there is the hidden light...

It seems like there is a fine balance of going too far in each direction...  How can one be in both places at the same time?  That I do not know...

Where Does the Time Go?

Sands keep slipping through these fingers
Often happening without notice
Yet at the same time
Bits of salt
Seep beneath this skin
Forever changing the essence below