Friday, January 31, 2020

Finding The Best Fit Narrative

When dealing with living life, everyone needs some kind of narrative in order to navigate and cope based on our individual predispositions and learned ways of doing things. In an ideal world, each person would find the narrative that best suits them and helps them live life as best as they can.

"Choose experiences over items." "Be positive." "Open space for others." "Find your passion. Find your voice." "Live your life to your fullest." "Just do it." "Sacrifice and hard work for others." "Be innovative." "Think outside of the box." "Think inside the box." "Get out of your comfort  zone." "Stay true to what is tried, tested, and true." "Respect those who came before you." etc, etc, etc...

Sometimes it can be a maze to find out which sets of narratives work best for an individual or a group. Each tends to promote a specific mindset that works better for some, but not others. The "Golden Rule" of do unto others as you would want them to do unto you... often can have disastrous results because people often want or prioritize different things.

Mixed Messages on Mental Health

On one hand: "If you're hurting, feeling lonely, depressed, suicidal, etc... talk to someone." encouraging people to open up.

On the other hand: "Stay positive. Cut out negative and toxic people out of your life." encouraging people to stay positive, while simultaneously and unwittingly stigmatizing and shaming people who experience difficult uncomfortable "negative" emotions.

For those who experience heavy uncomfortable emotions, knowing who to trust becomes a tricky endeavor to navigate. (spoken from firsthand experience) As social beings, the threat of being ostracized can be quite scary.

Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Thought Containers

Within all of us we have collections of Thought Containers... From preconceived notions, to learned ideas, to ways of thinking related to both nature and nurture... Our cultural myths, stories, narratives, and norms... Our beliefs and how we understand the world... The signs, symbols, words, gestures we have come to know, along with their explicit and implicit meanings...

All of these thought containers affect both how we take in and further understand the world, and how we interact and take action within the world. So often we abide by what we know and what we have come to know without question. We take action without too much conscious thought, taking comfort in, and relying on what we know for guidance. Our notions become a way of life with widespread implications, some intended and some unintended. We all have our "Red pills and Blue pills," often without knowing how or why our conceptions came to be...

Tuesday, January 28, 2020

Social Value Exchanges

Often times it is very difficult to know where we stand in the eyes of others, what kind of value we bring to their lives. We often need others to reflect back out value in the form of feedback. The actions we take in relationship to others is valuable. And so is the feedback we offer to let others know of their value to us. Very abstract Social Currency is made more concrete in the form of feedback.

Reconciling Seemingly Conflicting Cultural Messages?

Sometimes I wonder how on earth do we reconcile what seems to be conflicting cultural messages. In the U.S. a big message is one of engaging in competition... Be ruthlessly competitive! On the other hand, when someone dies, all of the sudden everyone says to make sure you tell people you love them.

I feel like a lot of holding back on love has to do with competition... We fail to give more of ourselves because we want to hold on to as much status as we possibly can. To acquiesce is to potentially lose some ground, when on an unconscious level, we are desperately fighting for survival by trying not to give in.

So often by putting one's best foot forward in one area, it potentially means taking a step back in another area...

Monday, January 27, 2020

Wanting to See How a Story Plays Out and Unfolds

There is something very human about our desire to see how a story plays out. We'll binge watch a series to see how everything unfolds, even if we know the most likely ending to the story. If possible, we want to see how a series comes to conclusion... and find we are left hanging if the series gets canceled before a sense of resolution. We want those hanging notes to be feel resolved.

Sunday, January 26, 2020

Tenacity, Ferocity, Focus, Drive

My college years were filled with admiration for the one I saw to have massive amounts of tenacity, ferocity, focus, and drive. I idolized and hoped to emulate those qualities. A mindset that helped me get through different things... A borrowed mindset, but a helpful one nonetheless...

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Chasing My Own Star

With great vigor I selfishly chase my own star
Leaving a tremendous wake of grief, guilt, and sorrow
And yet crumbs of fulfillment and joy keep goading me on

Monday, January 20, 2020

Cloud Canvas and Light

When we look up at the daylight skies above
It's the presence of clouds that helps to reveal
The light we perceive as Most Beautiful

Amongst the waxing and waning swirling dance
Clouds act as the heavenly Canvas
While The Light paints The Way

Sunday, January 19, 2020

The Subculture Created Through Environmental Interaction

Within each environment and within each group interaction, there tends to arise a subculture. As social beings we have a tendency toward conformation, going along with overall group goals (both explicit and implicit). A huge power of culture is its ability to activate various facets of our psyche, driving us to behave in various ways. And depending on our own individual tendencies, we might find ourselves going along with, or attempting to fight against the hidden tides and undercurrents. Culture can reveal different facets of who we are as humans.

Being exposed to multiple subcultures means exposure to different potentialities. We touch different frames of mind, which may help to amplify or inhibit our most current mindset. Those individuals seeking "inspiration", may be attempting to take advantage of our tendency to try to conform with those we come into contact with, attempting to reside within a mindset that helps one go toward individual goals, trying to borrow the influence of another's mind to further one's own goals. Individuals who are suddenly thrown into an environment very different from what they are used to, may find themselves changing in their own behaviors drastically as they are suddenly immersed into another subculture or culture.

Each subculture contact may leave residual effects in the psyche, leading to a kind of necessary dance, trying to deal with the different frames of mind or ways of seeing or being. One may find natural attraction or affinity toward one set, but not another. Or one may find that the influence of one subculture helps go toward some goals, but not others, leading to a quandary of which set of goals to prioritize. Tasting what it feels like to swim in one ocean may lead to longing if suddenly thrown in a very different and contrasting ocean. The dynamic dance of coexistence reveals itself, with the tendency to conform coming into contact with the desire to maintain one's own individual integrity. The drama of being a social being is made clear.

Saturday, January 18, 2020

Treating Others Equally and Not So Equally

Part of our U.S. culture believes in the idea of equality and treating people equally, yet at the same time we also treat each person we come across differently, depending on who or what they each represent to us, within our own minds. Our preconceived notions of roles and potential interactions drive us to behave in different ways, even if we don't mean to.

Friday, January 17, 2020

Boredom as a Potential Productivity Tool?

When we think "Productivity" we typically think of staying focused, staying on task, with steady progress towards our goals of accomplishing and finishing tasks. Only now do I realize that Boredom can also serve as a tool for productivity, driving us to continue to find and or create new things that help to stimulate us.

For myself I continually want something to please my aesthetic senses, or to stimulate new thought related to my old thoughts. There is an initial honeymoon phase of excitement upon coming up with something new, which then quickly begins to fade as I once again become hungry. The hunger itself, a hunger for something fresh, can be a driving tool for productivity.

I often beat myself up over "not being productive." Suddenly after many years of chasing what I find stimulating, I have a small body of work in the form of photographs and written blog entries. I have long considered myself "lazy" and "unproductive", which I definitely am in some areas. But there are some areas where I am productive, even if it may not be as consistent or prolific as I might dream of. I hope perhaps one day some kind of tapestry I will be content will might reveal itself in time.

Shining Back into Our Own Eyes

The light we seek is often that of our own
A deep desire to have light shone back onto our own eyes
To understand our mysterious connection to others
To know our place, to know our value
How we fit into the vast ocean sky
The dancing gold dust that connects us to the infinite
To see others is to see ourselves
To see ourselves is to see others
We are the moon and we are the stars

Ego Hanging In The Balance

I find my ego tends to hand in the balance when interacting with those I admire and respect. It is as if I really want to be on their level. Though it can also hang in the balance in those areas where I really want to identify with. If anyone, including strangers somehow touches upon those areas, my view of my self will once again hang by a thread.

Thursday, January 16, 2020

Role Expectation, Imagination, Interpretation, and Conflict

It seems that much conflict that arises between people has to with Role Expectations: How we Imagine people Should behave based on our own conception of what a Role entails, versus how actions actually play out, and our interpretations of those actions.

There are roles related to social hierarchy, believing people should behave in one manner or another, based on relative position. We each have beliefs regarding the roles of a leader vs. a follower... Boss vs. subordinate... etc. There exists our own interpretation of where we exist along this abstract structure we call social hierarchy. Differing interpretations or views is often a cause of conflict. Differing views on "Equal", "Greater", or "Less Than" will create conflict, as each attempts to claim what they believe to be rightfully theirs (with an underlying hope of getting their own needs met).

There are roles based on our connections to people: Our imagined definitions of "What a Friend is", "What a Mother is", "What a Father is", "What a Spouse is, "What an older or younger sibling is", etc. What we hope for and want is based on our own unique point of view, and what needs we believe each role is supposed to help fulfill in relation to each other. People's differing expectations based on their mind's conceptions can be a source of ongoing conflict, as imagination plays out against concrete actions and words, and our interpretation of those actions and words.

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

What is "The Inner Critic"?

I am beginning to think that "The Inner Critic" is a Preemptive Filter, an attempt to protect ourselves from social embarrassment in the eyes of others. We try to anticipate what others might think or say, and use those thoughts to try to avoid future loss of Social Capital. Our imagination makes the potential feelings of fear and embarrassment feel real in the moment, as The Inner Critic rehearses what might be said or thought by others. The imagination brings the feelings we are trying to avoid into the present, much like a dream.

As really young children, The Inner Critic likely doesn't exist until we gather enough social feedback through experiences with others, building a Social Capital Framework, where we know what is valued and not valued in the eyes of others. Our strong need to connect, belong, and feel valued in the eyes of others... our strong need to feel safe as we develop our own sense of self... probably results in the existence of "The Inner Critic."

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Deeply Resonant Feedback from Others and "Following Our Bliss"

Through feedback, others often act like the Moon, reflecting back the light we can potentially Shine onto others. The comments that absolutely floor us, whether in the form of deeply resonant affirmations, or compliments that touch us to our core... Those are gifts that help to guide us towards identifying our deepest aspirations. The light shone back upon us serve as guideposts, as beacons for identifying our Home. The light helps us to do what Joseph Campbell suggests, which is to "Follow our Bliss."

Friday, January 10, 2020

Tools

Tools that are the right fit inspire confidence through ease and connectedness. Likely the same can be said of our mindsets and narratives, as they serve as tools for helping us live our lives in the best way we know how.

Wednesday, January 8, 2020

The Mirrored Identity: Pros and Cons

This imagined image we call "Identity", for some it can be a source of fulfillment through knowing ourselves more. The idea of "self-knowledge" perhaps creating a map to serve as a guide for how to live, act, create, etc.

Yet at the same time, this thing we call identity, it can also be a source of tension, wanting to feel safe in the eyes of others.

Monday, January 6, 2020

"Good" Defined Through My Eyes

Good- The perception that someone or something is helping to meet a goal related to a need or desire.