The Fool who Cares Deeply

To care deeply about loved ones
But still do stupid shit that hurts those we care about
A Fool who cannot help but be strongly attracted
To Both
A Fool who must live with the consequences
Of Actions
Of Feelings
While trying to get off of the sidelines
Tied to the back of the boat

The Question

To Be
Or to Try to be?

That is the question.

"Stop Your Crying!": The Terror of a Small Child

"Stop Your Crying!" said the adult to the small child who was crying while being physically punished. The physical pain creating a plea in the form of tears: A plea to be free of the pain and suffering at hand.

A plea that is forced to go silent while enduring the pain. To cry more means more physical pain to come... The emotional pain stemming from the need to be heard is held like a breath under water...

No more crying... Only holding one's breath.

Hiding My Shame, Hiding My Presence

I hide out, trying to hide my most shameful parts
And in the process I wind up hiding my Presence as well
Leaving others feeling disconnected
Creating the prophesy I feel most scared of:
Losing connection

Discomfort in Either Direction

There is discomfort in either direction we choose...
To do or not to, each with their own set of challenges...
But one choice likely has the nectar we so desperately crave.

Overcoming and Surrendering

How can we discern when it is time to keep pushing forward, to overcome the challenge ahead of us Versus when it is time to yield and surrender?

How can we discern when our experience is pushing us forward or pulling us back? Offering up the direction we truly wish to go.

At what point is dissonance and discomfort something to be delved into? And at what point is it something to be withdrawn from?

The Goldilocks amount of Personalization?

In the past there are times where personal mission and quests have filled me with passion and energy, enough to motivate me strongly to reach some desired goals...

But there are also times where something seems overly personal, and instead I get stuck, especially if it relates to building or defending some kind of self-image.

There seems to exist a sweet spot for using the personal to fuel oneself for movement.

Lidocaine Cake on a Hook

There are moments in the everyday that invite us to stay tethered to where we are... Moments that are opportunities to practice mental and emotional weightlifting, through a conscious willingness to delve into what we find uncomfortable, an opportunity to enter into the rawness of our experience.

Deferring to Others

Some people defer to others in the form of physical comforts, like allowing others to get their share of food before eating themselves, helping to meet the physical needs of others before themselves.

Some people likely defer in the form of psychological and emotional space, allowing others to live out and express their psychology, allowing mental space and room for such expression.

The Fires of Eternity

Embers burn, filling the air with suffocating soot and smoke
In what feels like the heaviest eternity
Until true Eternity reveals itself...
Reunited with the eternal warmth...
Reunited with the fires from within:
True North

Love Just Is and Love Just Isn't

There exists a love deep within the psyche that isn't dependent upon fulfilling needs related to continuous material existence...

There also exists a love that is expressed in the fulfillment of needs related to continuous material existence, meeting needs, wants, and desires related to our continued physical survival.

The physical form serves as a medium where the love that exists deep within, can be felt and expressed. As humans we cannot experience one without the other.

The Suffocating Storm Comes in Like a Flash Flood

The suffocating storm comes in like a flash flood...
And all I can do is attempt to ride it out while in a powerless state...
To do my best to take shelter if possible...
And wait, and wait some more...
With the hope of remembering or seeing the sun...

Tethered To The Earth

Before inflating and floating off into the sky
Tether oneself to the earth
Before sinking too deeply into the ground below
Tether oneself to the earth

Anchor, and remain connected
To the humblest of ground

Accepting the Reality of Dream States

For the most part when we dream, we are unaware that we are dreaming. We believe the experience to be reality, which creates the opportunity to live out many lives. The roles that we fall into with each dream, the environments we live in and experience... we go along with it because we believe it to be real.

I often wonder how much waking life is like this... the going along and acceptance of role and environments.... and acting out in a way that is consistent with the reality we believe to be true... going along with the narrative that exists, not really knowing where it came from, and likely not questioning it, but living through it...