The Act of Breathing

Only when we breath can we be of greatest benefit to ourselves and to others.
We are at our best when we are full of life, full of inspiration.
Our best benefits the whole.

Learning and Growth And Two Ways of Being

Many of my struggles have involved learning and growth, and how to tap into a kind of faith in the unfolding...

Within us there exists this inner life that learns and grows through play. As tiny children we learn to move, we learn to talk in this manner. Part of our being or our makeup drives us in this direction, and we become fluent in our movements or in our language.

And then there is another way of being, a way of attempted learning through shame, punishment, guilt, and rewards. We use violence either inflicted upon others or inflicted upon ourselves in an attempt to learn and grow. We pay a high price for this method of learning, as people suddenly become authoritarians, obstacles, threats.

What's worse is when we suddenly start to apply this aggression toward ourselves. We somehow no longer have faith in our Inner Life that has always existed within us since we were born. We try to act as if we are God toward ourselves, and use a very destructive shaming God to get us to conform. No longer do we honor the light playful way of growth and being.

Inner Life just Is. And it will continue to attempt to unfold, even if we somehow try to intervene or even get in the way. It's my belief that part of our spiritual path is to find our way back to this way of being... A way of being that has faith in and honors our inner lives, while also having faith in and honoring the inner lives of others. And we learn that when we honor the inner life of another, we are really honoring part of our own inner life: Souls love to see Souls. Seeing is nourishment.

Self-Love Versus Romantic Love?

I think too often I get self-love mixed up with romantic love.

I'm so rebellious about the idea that I have to be anything when it comes to romantic love. I don't like that I have to fit labels, or some kind of look to be attractive and to be loved. But the reality of romance has some roots in evolutionary biology.

I think my rebellion is actually a product of my need to learn to properly self-love, but I'm projecting that upon the experience of romantic love. To self-love, I don't have to be anything. I just have to participate in the joy and love that is already available. I have to engage in love itself, satisfying the needs of my heart while simultaneously satisfying the hearts of others.

I think self-love comes from that space in between the bonds we share. By honoring the bond and the calls of the heart, we are immersing ourselves in self-love that requires no labels. It just Is.

Language that Creates Dependency and Power Struggles

There's language I have been vaguely aware of that creates a kind of dependency on others for our happiness, rather than partaking in the happiness and joy that is already present... There's a dark side to getting complimented, because it builds up a hungry image... an image that will need constant attention... an image that will need constant defense... and image that will need constant building... often relying on others in a very dependent manner.

Words carry so much hidden meaning and power, and it's important we recognize the dynamics created by the use of various words.

When the Heart Breaks for Others

When the heart breaks, the light of our humanity is exposed... In those moments of pain we suddenly touch upon some of our most sacred space... We touch upon our ability to love and feel for others who are not ourselves, but are still of ourselves.

The Parents We Needed

Lately the idea of "parents" has been popping up in the things I've been reading and listening to. I wonder if ultimately, many of the people we find in a way serve as The Parents We Needed. I wonder if we ourselves have to also become The Parents We Needed.

Eternal Joy

There exists an Eternal Joy that cannot be destroyed, that is always there with us. Sometimes we lose touch with it. Sometimes we forget about it. Sometimes situations cover up that Joy. But if we continue to unearth the hidden treasures of the world, the hidden treasures of others, and the hidden treasures within ourselves, we can touch upon the Joy again, the Joy that was hidden behind the clouds or the horizon.

Growing Alongside with Others

Every challenge that arises when we interact with others
Is an opportunity to grow alongside with them
Others help facilitate our own growth
We help facilitate the growth of others

Feeling Devalued

I'm someone who constantly tries to seek out value in others, and tries to see the best in others...
Perhaps that's why it hurts so much when I feel like others devalue me, or they don't find much value in me.

I know I have value... but it still hurts...

My Need For Appreciation

I recognize that I do have a need for appreciation for some of the things I do. I try my best to be considerate of the feelings of others, and find myself saddened when that goes unrecognized.

I guess I have to honor the things I do do for others... Being considerate is something I value in myself, and I must honor and appreciate that in myself.

Good Heart Pain?

What if there were good heart pain, like there is good massage pain? A kind of good pain that actually heals us. It's uncomfortable, but it's not so excruciating that we can't handle it. It's just right.

Sacred Space

When I'm with you
I'm taken to another place:
A place that is totally here
But not here...

Claiming The Flame

I want to claim the Flame
But I know it must breathe

My Litmus Test: Losing Laughter

When I'm able to laugh, I feel like I'm in a good frame of mind
If I suddenly can't laugh, and everything loses its humor...
Then, I'm likely in a bad place...

Tenderness

When I read the word "Tenderness" I think of multiple things. The first thing that comes to mind is a kind of loving-care, that is nurturing, open, and receptive to the feelings of others, reaching them on a deep level.

The other way I think of "Tenderness", it's a kind of open wound that we often experience after an experience that hurts us. It makes everything feel more immediate if we were to touch that tender spot.

In either case tenderness seems to involve an increased sensitivity. And I often wonder if they are both related to each other. To be a tender person, must we also allow access to the raw and tender heart?: to courageously keep it open, staying open to the immediacy of the experience.

Showing Gratitude towards our Mind, Heart, Body, and Soul?

I think I've been looking at acts of Self-Care all wrong. Instead of aggressively trying to cure ourselves of any pain we perceive, trying to rid ourselves of discomfort through different exercises, Perhaps I should be seeing acts of Self-Care as acts of Gratitude: Self-Care as a way of thanking what already exists, nourishing it, and being thankful for all the wonderful things my heart, mind, body, and spirit already do for me, especially those things that are sometimes taken for granted.

I recently came down with an intense cold, and without me having to think, the body took care of the virus, and helped me to feel better. The body is always in a constant state of healing itself and regenerating itself in the background, whether we acknowledge it or not (this probably applies to other parts of our being as well). Perhaps nourishment in the form of water, food, rest, and movement are ways of showing gratitude. And perhaps like in a marriage, it's in the best interest of the whole to show appreciation and fondness for the imperfect being we're connected to. Maybe there are some annoying things about the vessels we're connected to, but there are also wonderful things happening that often go unnoticed.

Perhaps meditation is also a type of nourishment, a way of showing gratitude toward our own being. Maybe it doesn't have to cure me of ailments I hope to be cured of. Perhaps it's a way of showing loving-acceptance for what is. It's a way of learning to treat ourselves kindly in all of our imperfection, while simultaneously recognizing the gifts we are given, and the gifts we have to give to others....

Gratitude within a framework of imperfection... Kindness through love and acceptance of what is...

The Other Side of My Laughter

There are times I laugh because I am sad... laughter is my surrender

What Film Photography Tells Me

Embrace imperfection and randomness, taking delight in the unexpected surprises
Continue to seek and find beautiful meaningful moments
Capture things worth remembering
Keep learning and learning and learning...

Who Do I Want To Be?

I want to be a person who continually finds beauty, especially in the hidden unseen places.
I want to be a person who can transmute energy for the sake of the whole.

These are my dreams...

The Simple Act of Enjoying and Engaging In

Too often I get so caught up in performing and measuring up to some standard that I lose the wonderful feeling of enjoyment from just doing. At times I'm even paralyzed to even engage in those things that I really love to do. Everything becomes a chore or an expectation, rather than simply enjoying the process and having fun engaging.

So often I forget to lighten up and enjoy the experience with childlike wonder and excitement... I hope I can start to remember, letting my spirit flow with the wind... *suddenly hears Ursula from The Little Mermaid... "Now sing! Keeeeep Singing!!!!!" :)